If you’re not chronically online, or part of my millennial micro-generation, you may not know that the internet is governed by a lot of unofficial rules and laws. Most of these laws have a negative valance, or are meant to be protective. There’s Rule 34,1 and its lesser-known but equally valid successor, Rule 35.2 There’s the one I live by: do not link to the line-steppers, which is an important corollary to do not feed the trolls. There used to be Godwin’s Law, but I’m ruling that one officially defunct because its constant invocation gave a lot of cover to the actual rise of Nazism and antisemitism in this country.

And there’s one other internet rule I live by, the only affirmative one that brings joy to everyone’s online experience: if you see Tom Holland’s Lip Sync Battle “Umbrella” performance anywhere, you have to watch it.

This performance is the pinnacle of what Lip Sync Battle had to offer. Channing Tatum’s performance of “Run The World (Girls)” has more star power3, and Anne Hathaway’s “Wrecking Ball” is a camp classic. But the former Billy Elliot is in a category all on his own.

There’s obviously the incredible skill on display—from what I’ve read, this was a lot of people’s introduction to Tom Holland’s dance background. And even more than that, there’s how his performance fits in his romance with his competitor, co-star, and current fiancée, Zendaya. According to me, this dance is the best public act of courtship of all time.

Now, the facts of Tom and Zendaya’s timeline are unclear and, frankly, not our business. What we know is that the two of them appeared on Lip Sync Battle to promote their first Spider-Man movie. At the time, Marvel was still playing coy about Zendaya’s character. She was named Michelle, rather than Mary Jane; while Laura Harrier was playing Peter Parker’s love interest, Liz. Who are these people? It was very similar energy to casting Benedict Cumberbatch in a Star Trek sequel and then naming him jOhN hArRiSoN. The randomness and blandness of the name only made it more obvious that he was playing Khan, and that this sequel was a Wrath of Khan remake.

Anyway, Tom and Zendaya deployed that same coyness about the nature of their relationship for years, as is their right. But whether they were dating by May 2017 or not, they very clearly enjoyed each other’s company. And despite what dating reality shows and uncredentialed relationship gurus would have us believe, enjoying each other’s company is the entire point of a relationship. Like, look how many teeth this girl has when she’s goofing off with this boy!

So this lip sync battle is a high-profile version of what they already enjoyed, which is making each other laugh. And while contestants4 are encouraged to mug for the camera, I do think you can see Zendaya’s authentic giddiness at Tom declaring so emphatically, “I love doing this shit with you.”

There’s also the sexiness of his performance. “Umbrella” is one of Rihanna’s hornier songs, which is saying something, though the double entendre gives it a bit more plausible deniability than something like “S&M.” It’s also one of her sweetest, with lots of references to being friends as well as lovers. A bit perfect for these two, no? And perfect for the kind of performance he wanted to give.

There were two primary types of men-in-drag performances on Lip Sync Battle. The most common was the “it’s funny that I’m a man wearing drag” type, which is also the most boring. Like, congratulations on your college sketch comedy bonafides, John Krasinski. The second was the performative male version, where the contestant in question is tackling some iconic choreography by an iconic female artist because He Really Respects Her Work.5

What Tom is doing here is very different. For one thing, this ain’t Rihanna’s choreo. For another, this drag is neither too jokey nor too self-serious. It’s a chance for him to show off his body, his physical strength (come on, traps!) and flexiblility (come on, hips!), and his total comfort at playing around with gender norms. He’s peacocking in the least toxic and most playful way, but he’s also playing it serious. And he’s not serving up lights off-socks on missionary here.

Having fun is part of the seduction, and the seduction is part of having fun. And we get to watch two super-talented and dynamic hotties be so enthusiastically into each other that, at least for the two-and-a-half minute performance, they lose all their instincts to be coy about it. Their enthusiasm for each other is infectious, and it’s a joy to witness it.

Thank you so much for reading! If this essay brought you joy, please take a second to feed Al Gore’s Rhythm by liking and sharing it 💜